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Hip Sobriety School, Day 14

"I trust that things are working

out for my highest good."

· Uncovery

Accepting means you allow whatever is happening and whatever you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the isness of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer. ―Eckhart Tolle​

Holly presented this concept in two mantra messages, one loaded up with quotes and the other a deeply personal story that contrasted "before and after sobriety" reactions to things gone wrong. I adore the fact that she chose to don such an extreme personality on this particular Earth journey. It's taken her into the fires of hell but also raised her on Eagle's wings to the pinnacle of transformation. She came out a forged-in-heat warrior goddess who can related to every imaginable suffering in a way that comforts and conjures hope. And I dig that about her.

In looking back over this time in Hip Sobriety School, pretty much nothing has unfolded the way I imagined it might. Certainly not the way I had it planned. Those sweeping home renovation trials would have happened months ago if other things had not taken center stage, but there they were: Total chaos and mayhem with a sustained period of tougher physical work that I've done in decades. Physical exhaustion to the point of zombie, falling far behind on HSS assignments, episodes of hitting the wine and the aftermath revelations, questioning all the time it takes to write this damn thing because I'm so blabby, watching the days turn into weeks and thinking, "Now was an awful time to do this."

But from the perspective of my shiny new clear colon, all I can see is cleansing and releasing the past, cleansing and releasing the past, cleansing and releasing the past. From the caverns of the garage, the back reaches of closets, the tippity top of very tall cupboards—everything feels very Now. All the baggage of "what no longer works or is no longer needed" has all gone out the door or into the trash sans sentiment or excuses. Even the sad little front-door wreath gave way to a larger, wildly colorful version that screams HAPPY SPRING! 

No wonder they call this spring cleaning. It feels for all the world like scraping away winter's crust of dead leaves so the sun can reach the earth and coax up the tulips, hyacinth, and daffodils. While all that has happened on the macro level of environment, my silly Groupon deal for colon hydrotherapy has been working on the micro levels. (Note yesterday's post for the TMI details on that one.) After Day Two of experiencing the world of colon cleansing, I am in total wonder and awe.

I can only describe this feeling as the deepest possible rejuvenating sensation, even beyond the cellular level through the more subtle spiritual bodies. My gut feels like a pure, sweet, little newborn baby and I have the strongest instinct now to keep it protected and nurtured, shielded from toxins and poisons of any kind. Speaking of which, on the intake form, one question asked if I ever have caffeine, sugar, or alcohol—aka three of my four addictive substances. (Weed wasn't on the list, so obviously the lungs, throat and sinuses were not voting. ) No judgment stated or inferred on the form, but I've been around long enough to know that's obviously a Top Hit List of negatives.

Which brings me to a point of complete and total acceptance of this unpredictable, crazy process in and around me that has been ripping like a tornado through my plans for an uninterrupted, quiet, progressive "I've got this" HSS experience. No more questioning. However it looks right now, I trust that things are working out for my highest good. Seriously.